Tuesday, August 17, 2010

All Too Soon

This morning was Jonah's first day of PreK. Well, technically I think they call it ThreeK since he's 3 and only goes twice a week. Okay, and technically he's supposed to go three times a week but I just can't handle that so on Wednesdays he goes to Bible study with me instead of school. Besides, he learns more about the Bible in those 2 hours on Wednesdays than I do all week. So. This is already off to a bad start. Let me begin again....

This morning was Jonah's first day of PreK. We got up happy and ate his favorite breakfast: sausage like a hotdog (link, not patty) and cinnamon toast. He had to settle for the cinnamon toast because he wanted a waffle but there wasn't any time. He also thinks Mommy doesn't know how to make waffles because I hate the mess and Daddy's the one who usually makes those. Since Daddy was already at work, we went with an alternative option.

Did I mention that we had to make cinnamon toast twice because Mommy was so beside herself that she burned the first batch? Maybe we should've gone with a waffle.

After breakfast, we washed our face and hands (we had taken a bath last night), brushed our teeth, and got dressed.

Is he not the cutest? Yes, his teacher requested a regular size bookbag so his artwork doesn't get smashed. Artwork! He's going to come home with artwork! I love it.

We dropped Sister off at GB's so it could just be "Mommy and Me" for the first day. As we rode in the car, I asked him how he felt and if he wanted to pray about anything. We prayed for peace and joy last night because he "was a bittle bit scared inside" but he assured me that when the time came he wouldn't be scared anymore. He told me that he was good to go and Jesus had taken all the scared away. My sweet little man.

He requested "Holy, Holy, Holy", "Our God is an Awesome God", and "Everyday" as his ride-to-school playlist. We sang and talked about the tractor trailer trucks we passed. We pulled into the parking lot and I thought it would hit me but I was fine. So was Jonah as he said, "Bye Wuthie (Lovie)! Bye Pappy (Passie)! Bye Airpwane (his new toy from the airport)! I'm going to school!" and hopped out of the car.

We headed inside and one of his teachers, Ms. Martha, greeted him at the door. His grip tightened and he ducked behind my legs. I went in his classroom with him where we hung his bookbag on his hook. Ms. Tracy, his lead teacher, welcomed him and had a star nametag necklace for him. When she tried to put it around his neck, he shook his head no and plainly stated, "No. I don't need that. I'm not staying that long. I'm eating lunch with my Mommy." Ooooookay. She winked at me and put his necklace in his cubby.

Last Wednesday we had met his teachers and toured his classroom and he told them that he really "wuuuuuuuuved (loved) dump trucks". On the carpet were three dump trucks that Ms. Tracy had picked out especially for him. He relaxed a tad but still made me stand by the classroom sink so I wouldn't be anywhere near the door in case I tried to escape.

I waited a few minutes and slipped out with a set of parents who had just dropped off their fraternal twins, Jace (boy) and Joie (girl), as Ms. Tracy was making a big deal of how Jonah, Jace, and Joie all began with J. Apparently I wasn't as sligh as I thought because I heard a huh-huh-huh as Jonah slipped into his panic breath I know so well. It's his silent substitute for whining because Bear can't stand whining. I glanced at the teacher who nodded and shooed me with a smile. I blew a kiss and said, "Love you and I'll see you after Bible study" and slipped on out.

That's when I heard it. Slow at first and then rising to a full on holler. I wasn't sure what to do so I just stood in the hall to the left of his door and silently prayed for what felt like forever. He quieted down a bit but was still crying when I walked out to the lobby and got in my car. Surprisingly I didn't shed a tear but I was so nervous for him. I just want him to have a good time and to enjoy it so much.

I came home and Esther Grace had already been fed, bathed, and changed. My mother is a saint. I just wanted her to sit with the baby and I was planning on doing all of that myself when I got home. She is completely wonderful. Once we got home, Sister was in desperate need of a morning nap. I think it's jet lag. I nursed her and while I was rocking and singing, it hit me. My Beanie is so big. He used to be the one snuggled up, rubbing Lovie's ears with his pudgy, little fingers. His little, rolly thighs outstretched on my lap with those long, blonde eyelashes sweeping his soft, velvet cheeks. Then, the tears came. Even now, as I type, the tears are rolling down my cheeks.

My mind flashed to college and dropping him off in his dorm room. Kneeling by his little twin bed praying for God's blessing on his future, protection over his social choices, and guidance in decisions. All too soon that'll be my life. All too soon this stage of passies and matchbox cars will give way to football and wrestling. All too soon football and wrestling will give way to driving real cars. All too soon he'll start dating and eventually find God's girl. All too soon he'll be a man.

But for now, I'll just embrace the Happy Meals and playground days. Treasure the non-stop pretend stories and stuttering paragraphs. Value the snotty noses and skinned knees. Revel in laundering little Grover undies. Because all too soon it'll be gone and I'll have oak trees instead of acorns.

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